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May 24, 2006
Blowjob Marathon or what?
The other night I had nothing but jons that wanted blowjobs. While that's the usual for most I usually get a break with straight sex here and there, but last night it was ALL blowjobs!
I must admit I made some really good money, but if you had to suck a guy off about every half hour for about 8 hours your mouth would be more than sore. Actually I really thought I would go home and find blisters on my lips and tongue.
A few blowjobs in I was ready for a break and thought I was going to get one because this one guy started talking about straight sex and then decided a quick blowjob would be better and so here I was on my 4th blowjob of the night and not even halfway through it.
I am thinking I need to try harder to talk these guys into straight sex more often because this is going to kill me one way or another!
Lindsey
Posted by lindsey at 1:41 PM
May 20, 2006
Blowjob mouth breaker!
Have you ever had one of those guys who just can't get enough of a blowjob and it takes forever for him to cum? Well that's what happened to me the other night with one of my jons.
He wanted a blowjob, easy enough for me or so I thought. It took him literally 45 min to cum and let me tell you, it was no small feat getting that fat dick in my mouth and to have to suck it for 45 minutes was just about enough for anyone!
He ended up paying me extra for the trouble but if I had to give one more blow job that night it would have been the end of my career. I seriously thought he dislocated my jaw bone trying to shove that fat thing in my mouth. It wasn't that is was long as it was fat, real fat as in just enough room for me to get it in and it was still touching my teeth, which he didn't seem to mind but bothered me plenty!
Lucky for me I got paid extra and the jons the rest of the night just wanted a quick straight fuck.
Lindsey
Posted by lindsey at 1:18 PM
May 17, 2006
Porn Videos Clerk Stories
I thought this was hiliarious and so thought I would pass some of these stories onto you all. It's funny what people do when they rent porn, and maybe some of you can relate and give these poor clerks a break.
Lube Warning
Posted on 03-02-2002 at 05:28 AM
All of us abuse the hand sanitizer. I know that over-the-counter antibacterial products are bad. I know that it actually develops hideous resistant strains of bacteria. I even did the high school biology experiment where you put penicillin in a petri dish of E. Coli, then watch the zone of inhibition get smaller and smaller as the bacteria learn to eat the stuff for breakfast. I know it is bad, and I don't think it should even be legal to sell it. All of my fellow clerks agree with me, but we all abuse the hand sanitizer. We can't help it.
Contamination is everywhere. I see people sneezing onto the tape cases. They cough wetly into their palms right before handing me change. They squeegee out their ears with their pinkies. They forget about the security cameras downstairs and pick their noses with wild abandon and astonishing force. Still, the only thing that realy freaks me out is the semen. Well, OK, the lubricant freaks me out too, but I'm pretty sure that's because of the implied presence of semen.
The only thing we can do is use the hand sanitizer. I use it so much that I lose all finger traction and can't open our plastic bags. I've had days when I've used it so much that I can't even make fingerprints on the glass countertop. It freaks me out, but the thought of not using it is worse.
Sometimes people get animalistic about the tapes. For the real addicts (I'm convinced that porn is like alcohol: some people can stop at just one every now and then, some people just binge on weekends, and some people get genuinely, horribly addicted) the reptilian brain kicks in. They hit the magic portion of the tape and they're done. They pop out the tape and slam in another one, and the next day the stack comes back, unrewound and covered in goo.
Repeat offenders get a note on their file that says "LUBE WARNING". Management policy is that for $6.50 an hour, clerks should not have to deal with the bodily fluids of others. The first time we discreetly but firmly remind the customer that the tapes need to come back clean. The second time we hand him the tape, the Windex, and the paper towels and tell him to clean off the tape in full view of whoever else is at the counter.
It astonishes me that someone could actually forget to clean off his sticky and/or slippery tapes, but what amazes me even more is that people actually have the balls to argue with us about it. They always claim they got the tapes that way. They will actually claim that the spooge in question was missed by both the clerk that checked it in and the clerk that checked it back out, and that they figured what the hell, they'd go ahead and play it, even though it was covered in gel.
One guy brought back a DVD with a big white thumbprint of come on it. He actually tried to argue with me: "That's not mine. I never even played that! I never even took it out of the case!"
I pointed out that the DVD had been put back in the case with the reverse side up, which was where the thumbprint was. The clerk couldn't have checked the tape out to him that way because the serial number is on the front. The guy still tried to protest that sure, maybe he'd picked it up and looked at it but - "Sir," I said, "It's your THUMBPRINT. Do you really want to get into this?" He did not.
I hate it when people argue, but I understand why they do. I don't think there should be any shame in masturbating, but I do think there should be shame in expecting someone with whom you are not very, very close to deal with a wad of your spooge. I think they get all defensive because in that moment, they realize it too, but I think there's more to it than that.
One of my favorite concepts in anthropology is that of the polite fiction. It's something nobody believes, but we all pretend to because it makes life so much easier. My favorite example was of a Pygmy couple. Pygmy divorce involves quite literally breaking up the home: the couple tears apart their house (it's easy - the houses are made of leaves) and once it's down, the union is dissolved. One anthropologist was watching a long-married couple have a fight. It escalated until the wife threatened to leave, and the husband yelled something along the lines of "Fine!" and there was nothing the wife could do but start tearing down the house. She began tearing the roof off, clearly miserable. The husband looked wretched too, but at this point neither could back down without losing face and by now the whole village was watching.
Finally, the husband called out the Pygmy equivalent of "You're right, honey! The roof is dirty! It'll look much better once we get those leaves washed!" The two of them started carrying leaves down to the river, soon with the help of the whole village, and then washed and rebuilt the whole roof. When the anthropologist later discreetly asked how often one washes the roof, everyone looked at him like he was a complete doofus.
The polite fiction of the porn section is that, while people do generally use porn for the purpose of masturbation, there is no reason to believe that this particular customer will be doing so. He could be using them for his Master's thesis. Hell, he may not get around to watching them at all. We all like to believe that. When it becomes all too clear to everyone involved that said customer did, in fact, not only lube up, watch the tape, stroke himself to orgasm, and then grab the goddamned thing without even taking the basic courtesy of washing his goddamned hands first, we all get uncomfortable.
On the other hand, he gets angry because he's ashamed of something that was entirely avoidable and his own fault. I'm supposed to keep my temper even though I've just put my hand in a wad of his semen.
The destruction of the polite fiction is what creeps me out about one of my weekend regulars. He comes in when I open at nine, then chooses and rents two movies. He leaves for exactly two movies' worth of time, then returns them before four to get the matinee special. I hate it because there's no way to pretend he's been doing anything else. I just hope to God there's been a hand washing between him and me. I think there is, because his tapes are always clean, but it still gives me the shivvers and sends me straight to the hand sanitizer. It's just too much to know.
Mr. Glasses is the very creepiest, though. He's always very friendly, even courtly. He's too friendly, actually - he's always doing stuff like announcing "It's THAT kind of personal service that sets your store apart from the Blockbusters!" Yeah, whatever. The over-friendliness itself is creepy, as is the way he sort of doesn't blink enough and doesn't know that most business transactions don't really involve sustained eye contact. (No, he's not hitting on me. He's gay.) But of course what puts him over the top is that he's our biggest repeat lube offender. I hate seeing him coming. It's like Russian Roulette.
Rainy days are the worst. He just plunks a wet bag on the counter and we have to reach in and get the tapes. You know that initiation ritual in Flash Gordon where the guy has to stick his hand way, way down a hole and usually it's fine but sometimes there's a venemous beastie at the end that stings him? It's like that. Actually, it isn't quite. The tapes are always a bit wet on rainy days - it's just that my brain can't stop churning about what they might be wet with.
We all abuse the hand sanitizer. And I am deeply grateful that it exists.
Posted by lindsey at 7:16 PM
May 13, 2006
Sex News Erotic Sexual Denial
Erotic Sexual Denial
Erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice and a form of power exchange where a person is kept in the plateau phase of the human sexual response cycle for an extended length of time. This is usually done as part of a BDSM game. Depending on the nature of the game, they may either be allowed an orgasm at the end (in which case, the orgasm is generally much stronger than normal), or deliberately denied one, in which case they will generally feel strong feelings of sexual frustration.
An alternative form of orgasm denial is the denial of genital stimulation, either for an extended period or separate from a scene. Lack of stimulation is ensured by using a chastity belt or other device that physically prevents touch and/or (for males) erection. Long term denial It is said that males can be kept in denial for extended periods of up to several weeks (periods around 2 - 4 weeks each time are often quoted as being safe subject to proper skincare and regular checking), although there will be an emotional and psychological impact from the artificial suppression of such a powerful drive. However most websites also indicate that this is a long period subjectively for most people, and often informally suggest a shorter period such as 3 days or a week between release instead, especially when starting.
The long term consequences for period beyond that are unclear, most sources seem to agree that the body will spontaneously reabsorb sperm, but that the prostate fluids should be removed fully and regularly, if not through orgasm then via internal prostatic massage (known as "prostatic milking") to reduce the risk of prostate cancer and inflammation, atrophy (orgasm involves the prostate muscles) or tissue damage to the prostate. It is also said that if erection is inhibited for long periods the skin of the penis becomes less elastic which may cause pain or other difficulty in the future.
The release felt by a man as a result of prostatic milking against a background of denial, is described as long, drawn out, but not reaching a resolution phase as with normal orgasm. It is therefore said to always leave an edge of not having had full satisfaction, or a yearning for more, as opposed to the "drop" in responsiveness due to satiation after a full orgasm. For people who engage in lifestyle chastity and erotic denial, this may be desirable, since after orgasm a male is sated and released for some days of the tension which builds up with orgasm denial.
For females, the impact of long term denial seems to be mostly emotional and psychological, since there is no equivalent of prostate buildup or erection denial involved.
Posted by lindsey at 3:17 PM
May 11, 2006
Sex and Massage
Sex massage is basic on japanese sex culture. To heighten sex time is to learn techniques that could stimulate further other than just penetration. Take foreplay that can heat up the moment and intnsify libido, preparing the body to sex. An old technique known as erotic or sexual massage is a way to make sex time more grateful and pleasurable. It relaxes and provides good spree of sensuality to the couple.
Certain people employ massage to relax by rubbing shoulders and back it would have wonderful results. The erotic/sexual massage reaches beyond aimed areas. It goes deeper by stimulating and inducing areas in and around the genitals. There is no need to be a professional masseur to start to enjoy it in http://www.sexpayperview.com/index.cfm?refid=AEBN-010720sex games. Water-based oil can give an incredible professional approach to a silly rubbing on.
A simple manner to get it started is to warm up some towels (it can be warmed in the microwave) and invite your partner do lay down, face down. In this position, a very good alignment keeps the bodies in touch. The water-based oil helps the hands to slide up and down the body. You can begin by gently massaging the shoulders. The breast area can come next. Do this and keep on going down your partner’s body, but though important is to let the genital area as the last spot. On the legs, make a full circuit movement, beginning on the toes and slowly going up until the hips on revolving motions..
In a woman, before exploring her genitals, ask her to spread her legs. After that, with your hand full of oil, open her labia and go up and down repeatedly, touching her clitoris while doing it. Go from the clitoris to the anus area, pressing more or less, according to the partner’s will.
In man, cup his testicles with your well-oiled hand and use the other hand to form a ring around the base of the penis, and slide up and down the shaft. Lay his penis against his stomach and use your palm to apply pressure as your stroke the underside of his penis.
Posted by lindsey at 5:14 PM
May 9, 2006
Cumshot gives me Red Eye!
Yes, I occasionally will let a client ejaculate on a part of my body, but only those I have been with several times, and yes I do know about the whole aids thing, this isn't something I do all the time nor do I do it frequently enough to put myself or my clients at risk.
This one regular likes to cum on my face now and again, and I will let him, only this last time the cumshot gave me a red eye! It wasn't on purpose, he just got a little excited and so his aim was off a bit. Anyway, when he came it went not only on my face but in my eye! It wasn't a blinding pain or anything and I laughed it off as I got up to wash my eye out with cool water, but he felt so horrible he even gave me a tip.
After he left I went to check my eye and was surprised to see it was bright red! I suppose between the cum and the rinsing it was a bit angry but it was still red the next day when I got up. I didn't think much about it and for the next few days just put some red eye drops in it but by the end of the week I knew I had to go see a doctor and so off I went to the clinic.
Turns out I had an infection in my tear duct and because my eye wasn't being bathed properly because of the clogged duct it was irritated. They gave me some drops for the infection and it is doing much better now. I will be much more careful about keeping my eyes closed next time or wearing safety glasses ;o)
TTFN!
Lindsey
Posted by lindsey at 1:26 PM
May 2, 2006
Warm and Fuzzy Sex with Hairy Girls
Do you like those big fluffy muffs, those fuzzy hairy girls sliding down on your big hard cock feeling that soft hair on your dick and knowing how warm it must be?
Not all girls are created equal and not all pussies are made for shaving and these girls just love that soft bush and don't mind showing it off. Check out some of the hottest and hairiest girls around and check it out as they get eaten and fucked by guys who just love burying their faces in those hairy pussies.
Natural girls with big hairy twats get wet and wild in this DVD series from the King of Cream, Rodney Moore.
Posted by lindsey at 1:07 PM